The Ignorant Tourists' Guide to Cryodiil
Are you a fan of generic ubiquitous fantasy games? Then why not take a spin on Bethesda’s newest Role-Playing Game, Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion!
Welcome to Europe Cryodiil. Never mind that it has the exact geography as a certain place, these two are totally different! Acting as your virtual in-game guide is none other than Emperor Uriel Spetim VII™ voiced by Patrick Stewart, aalthough he gets killed off in the first five minutes. But do not let that deter you from playing this game!
A Kingdom Under Threat
Cryodiil is the ultimate destination for dungeon-crawlers, thieves, necromancers, assassins and cultists; the ultimate utopia for a safe life. Here, we practise a new-and-improved recruitment drive for potential sovereign slaughterers, so our royal bloodline has the lifespan of flies.
Thus, it is up to you, an ex-convict, to secure and protect the last of the kings. Unfortunately, the fall of the monarchy has caused illegal immigrants to increase tenfold. Unwanted visitors from hell Oblivion has invaded the once-‘peaceful’ region through randomly-spawning magical portals the size of Sauron’s eye.
I hope you don’t mind if we pop in.
So what are you waiting for? Pack up your steed and get ready for the riskiest holiday of your life!
Dozens to Do
Despite the imminent threat, the Imperial City advises you to always to take some time off to look at the sights. There are literally hundreds of side-quests you can do, from doing some sleuth work to hunting ogres for jumbo potatoes.
Do you have a propensity for stealth? Then do some undercover work and discover the secret Thieves’ Guild, Oblivion’s version of a Robin Hood organization. If you’re feeling bloodthirsty, why not just embark on a murdering spree and get yourself inducted into the Dark Brotherhood?
Or if you just want to something to slash your blade at, the Arena, Mages’ Guild and the Fighter’s Guild is the place for you! You can even just walk around town- there’s bound to be some denizens too lazy to complete their own task and will call random strangers to do it for them.
Killing rats? When did I become a pest exterminator?
A Living Breathing Countryside
Bold adventurers who stray from the road will find themselves in the journey of a lifetime. No really, it will be for your lifetime. Cryodiil is home to a variety of exquisite dungeons, walls polished with the screams of the undead and beasts.
For the claustrophobic, the wide plains is teeming with deer, mountain lions, boars, trolls and ogres, all willing to end your life if need be. If that doesn’t sound exciting enough, add in a mysterious cult who is bent on killing you for no apparent reason, and let’s not forget the murderous Oblivion foreigners!
Yes, Cryodiil is the destination for you!
Traversing these harsh terrains are no longer needed with the added
'fast-travel system' which lets you teleport from town to town.
The people here in Cryodiil are friendly and realistic too. Watch them open their shops, sit down together for dinner, engage in casual banter, return to their houses to sleep, etc. If they’re feeling lucky, maybe they’ll drop by at the Arena to bet on a few combatants. Don’t bother getting to know everyone, however, Cyrodiil’s titanic population will make open houses a compelling challenge.
“I was walking through Anvil when I came across a elven beggar talking in a pleasant British accent. Moments later, I’m fighting this pirate with the same voice, except this time instead of greeting me, he’s trying to kill me. What gives?”
– Anonymous
It’s very hard to find a unique voice for each citizen of Cryodiil, especially when there’s a population numbering by the hundreds. That is why the lizard-like Argonians all share the same voice, as with every other person in the game. Except for Patrick Stewart, of course, but remember, his character dies in the game!
Slash and Stash
Here in Cryodiil we cater to all people. Be it archers, magic-spammers or the old-school hack-and-slash berserkers, we have ensured to satisfy all your longings.
However, be wary when you wield your weapons. Our allies will not hesitate to turn on you should you accidentally strike the wrong person. When attacked, you will wobble for a while, and while this is the hallmark of realistic combat, it also proves to aggravate even the most valiant of warriors, and Cryodiil has some very valiant warriors! Remember this, brethren, before you to set out to fight!
In Conclusion
Oblivion is practically the exemplary Triple-A game out there. It doesn’t matter if you’re not a role-playing game fan, this game’s sheer magnitude will surely make this a great first-time experience for you.
Rating: ★★★★★-- A Must Play.