Examining the possibilities of a daunting hazard through cellphones.

Firstly, I feel that it is appropriate that I owe this article to the first paper of the English for Science and Technology (EST) subject that the fifth form candidates had to sit for in the recent first mid-semester examinations. This is chiefly due to the entirety of the passages found inside the paper that concerned the cons of the mobile phone, ranging from subtle radiation all the way to the degradation of etiquette caused by its usage.

Now that we are done with the formalities, let us get down to business.

Obviously, one of the biggest issues that had several health organizations raging against the public was, as stated above, radiation. A known fact: A cell phone exerts a subtle radiation when it is operational, especially so when it is transmitting calls. Now, it has also been apparently all this while that the phone also exerts a smaller if not equal amount of radiation when it is left on standby mode.

So, a thought happened to wander into my head the other day: If we (males, specifically) place our cell phones into the pockets of our pants, won't the radiation affect our unmentionables?

According to one of the passages in the aforementioned EST paper, of which the validation I cannot guarantee, it is stated that when cell phone level radiation was allowed to be exerted upon mice that are altered genetically one way or another, it was observed that the mice concerned quickly developed tumors in their bodies.

Of course, to compare the body workings of a lobotomized mouse to the body of a human being is ridiculous; as we immediately can derive major differences in terms of size and quality of vital organs.

But think about it, just for second.

The evolutionary state of progress demands more and more advancements to be made as time goes on; it is inevitable. The cell phone we have today is only going to get more complex, which can only mean that more energy is going to be needed to power these new babies. And compounding on that would be the increase in radiation that are required to pulse transmissions outwards, unless Finnish manufacturer Nokia can come up with an alternative method of transmitting phone calls.

Thus, that cell phone in our pockets may very well lead to male species of the human race to utter and undeniable impotency. Though purely theoretical for now (despite the rumours flying at you from across the street), the possibility and the fear it brings is utterly overwhelming.

However, if one thinks about it, is there anywhere else that we can place cell phones on our body? Should we succumb to the theory and paranoia, of course.

To place it in one's breast pocket surely leads to fears concerning heart infections and failures. To place it in a mini-pouch hung upon one's belt (a common practice among the walkers of KL city) is a tad bit more 'closer to home' than if one places it in the pocket.

Really, there almost is no other place to stow it. The safest method is probably to chuck it into a handbag; which is what most women do already anyway. (Which, coincidentally, also means that they may very well be safe compared to the risks men take) However, with it being stuffed in a handbag, there arises fears of one not being able to detect an incoming call.

It would seem that the human race has written itself to a corner. Imagine: what would become of us thirty, forty years from now? When the world finally yields entirely to the power of technology, when society's heartbeat becomes the humming of a CPU's cooling fan?

My kinsmen, we are most definitely doomed.

That is, unless you choose to not digest this nonsense, of course.

To deny the possibilities, to uphold the mantra of 'Ignorance is bliss'.

Do not get me wrong, it takes a strong person to embrace ignorance.

But for the rest of us, think about it, won't you?.